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Message - Disheartend mid career crisis...need someone to talk to...

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Posted by  unhappy on December 07, 2003 at 20:13:03:

I've just completed my 3rd year of architecture and really should already be in a job for my 1st year in practice. However, I've just come out of this degree feeling I haven't actually learnt anything.
Why is this? I actually really enjoy the subject, more so the building technology aspects, I really loved the course of the same that I did at college, but this degree has just left me hollow. I actually felt more like "I'm so glad this is over & I can now leave this place".
Maybe this feeling is simply because I couldn't stomach the Uni I was at, with the tutors making me feel like I didn't have any design skills what so ever. It felt like I was taking a battering with every crit. To this day I haven't lost the absolute dread and sickness every one of them gives me, every time.
Maybe I prefer building technology, and history simply because you cannot argue with logic and reason, whereas your designs are personal and even though youíre not meant to, you canít help but take the crits personally and not constructively.
The major reason why Iím not in work just now, is that Iím having to prepare my portfolio from scratch, as I have nothing left to work with from my degree show, as it was very kindly trashed by my school. I wasn't the only one who's work had been binned. Where is the respect? no case, no sketch books, nothing. This doesnít help, it just adds to my quagmire and the utter distaste I now have for this school. And it is supposed to be the best in the country????
My problem is, anger aside, I want to work in this industry. But how am I supposed to do this with the low self confidence Iíve just come out with? Iíve considered the option of not actually designing and moving onto something else in the construction industry. But can I really go in with this aim when applying for and working my year out in an office?
I really donít want to be the next Frank Lloyd Wright, I want a satisfying career knowing I am doing my best for the industry and the environment-ecologically wise. Can I really go on with this frame of mind in this profession? Do you really have to be outlandishly ambitious to have a satisfying career?

What do you architects out there think? Maybe this is normal for students at this stage? Are you really so harsh out there on those who just want to work?

I'm just utterly disheartened and frustrated.....

 
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